Tisha B’Av: From Ruin to Renewal
The Night I Was Chosen
Tisha B’Av has always been a day of mourning—a collective remembrance of the destruction of the Temples, of loss, exile, and longing. Yet, for me, this sacred day became the crucible of my own spiritual rebirth.
I awakened that Tisha B’Av to an audible voice: “You are from the tribe of Benjamin.” The message was so clear, so direct, that I couldn’t ignore it. I dove into research, seeking the wisdom of the Hebrew months, the legacy of Benjamin, and the mysteries of my own soul. What I discovered resonated in my bones: the Tribe of Benjamin was the first to go headfirst into the Red Sea, embodying courage, faith, and the willingness to answer the call of Hashem without hesitation.
This story was my own. I, too, have always been the one to leap first, to answer the call without question, to fight the battles placed before me. But nothing prepared me for the initiation that awaited me as night fell on Tisha B’Av.
The Light and the Destruction of the Temple
That evening, I learned about the destruction of the Second Temple in a way that defied logic. The lesson wasn’t just historical—it was deeply personal. As the sun set, I felt a presence, a light, attach itself to my head. It was overwhelming, making me physically ill. I called everyone I knew, seers and spiritual guides, but no one could help me. The light had chosen me, and it was relentless, purging anything within me that didn’t belong.
I was forced to surrender. The purging was fierce—until I vomited, and the intensity began to ease. Only then did I understand: this was a marking, an initiation. The destruction of my own inner temple was necessary to make space for the light. That night, I was chosen to become the Shaman for my lineage, to carry the torch of healing, wisdom, and spiritual leadership forward. Ultimately to rebuild my temple after destruction.
The Spiritual Legacy of Benjamin
The Tribe of Benjamin is known for its courage, for being the first to leap into the unknown, to trust the Divine, and to lead the way for others. On Tisha B’Av, the day of collective ruin, I was called to embody this legacy—not as a victim of destruction, but as a vessel for renewal.
The light that chose me demanded a total surrender, a willingness to let go of all that no longer served my soul or my lineage. It was a sacred purging, a spiritual cleansing that marked the beginning of my path as a healer, a guide, and a Shaman for those who came before me and those yet to come.
From Destruction to Destiny
Tisha B’Av is a reminder that from the ashes of what was lost, new life can emerge. The destruction of the temple is not the end—it is the beginning of a new covenant, a deeper relationship with the Divine. My own temple had to be broken so that the light could flood in, so that I could rise as a beacon for my family, my community, and my people.
If you find yourself in the fire of destruction, know that you are not alone. Sometimes, the breaking is the blessing. Sometimes, the light that overwhelms is the same light that heals, purifies, and transforms.
Let us remember: from ruin, we rise. From exile, we return. From destruction, we are reborn—not only for ourselves, but for the healing of our entire lineage.
